A Change Will Do You Good
I have to be honest. I am exhausted by life right now. For the past six months my honey and I have been working on resolving the issue from back in March. It is going as needed, I’m just ready for some resolution so we can turn the page on that. I’ve been in rehearsals for an alumni show at my high school. We’re doing Come From Away which is so awesome. Its given me a place to try to filter some of what I’m experiencing through this story of compassion in the midst of chaos and loss. We are a few weeks from opening and I caught the cold that was going around the school and cast. Which, in and of itself, is understandable. Just sucks being sick and missing rehearsal so close to opening night. We recently adopted a senior dog from my sister. We lost our last fur baby a few years ago. We weren’t exactly ready but I’m so glad we said yes. This munkin has brought so much joy a lightness to our hearts in the 5 weeks we’ve had her. But last week I noticed some swelling in her glands and after getting samples at the vet we were told that she has large cell lymphoma and most likely only has a few months before she crosses the bridge. Getting that news was devastating. I’m angry. I am sad. Its absolutely unfair for her. I’m having a hard time trusting in Goddess and the Universe right now because I’m angry. I haven’t lost my trust, I just need some time to understand. Goddess always gives me the time I need.
I feel like we are being piled on and the weight of it all is trying to break me. I won’t let it. I won’t let these things strip me of my kindness, my desire to leave people better than when I found them, and the opening of my heart to what and who needs it. I will find the silver lining in all of this. I just need some time. Rest assured that our munkin will have the best of what time she has left and we will be by her side through it all.
I can’t go on as if this doesn’t all change something in me and the shape my future is taking. Where I was looking to build a business of services and courses I find that I need to pull back and go another direction. I am still creating a heart centered business of healing, goddess, witchcraft, and lunar love but I will be focusing on writing. At this time with AI running rampant I want to put energy into human created content. Blogs, books, educational resources. For now this is where my heart and Goddess guided path are pulling me. I still have aspirations for everything else and the notebooks and files to prove it but now is the time to be the Cozy Boho Mystic that I am and find a rhythm of writing, reading, and study.
So, breaking it down…Even with all the difficult things going on I know there is still happiness and joy to be had. I just have to give space for my emotions and allow myself the time it takes to move through them. Still looking forward to life on the road. I am craving nature and the open road so much. Its where we need to be. Still creating a vlog on Youtube for documenting. Still getting back into writing and reading. Still weaving magic in local women’s circles. And of course still offering tarot readings. I always go back to the cards. Its a practice I know will always give me the messages and lessons that I need to hear. The only real change is that I’m giving myself permission to hermit up a bit while I write and study and create.
Remember that its ok to be angry. Its ok to not want to sit at your alter. Its ok to let your emotions take the time they need. No rushing is required. If it leads to a change then move with it. Flow down that path. On an inner tube with a midnight margarita. (Who else is excited for Practical Magic 2?!) Change is ok.
Take so much good care of yourself.
