Something Has Changed
What was that word? Pivot!
I wanted to write an update to the first post. All of the things in that post are still true except that we have had to push our goal date out til May of 2027. Did we want to? No. We want to get to our life on the road asap. Unfortunately, with the surgeries that my husband is healing from and the finances where they are currently, we talked and made the decision to push our date out.
The past few months have been a lot. Physically and mentally for both my husband and I. My honey is progressing in his healing and its begun to give that space to get back to some normalcy. Throughout all of this I’ve tried to keep creating for our online spaces. I’m proud that I’ve been able to do what I have. But larger projects I had planned needed to be put on the back burner. And that’s ok. Because in every moment I remembered that this will be a memory and that these things will come into existence when its correct.
What am I up to now that there is a little more space to breathe? Deep cleaning, declutter, and getting our finances back on track. These past months my focus has been on attending to my husband’s needs as he heals while also trying to keep my mental health and self-care on track (as much as I could). This meant that I was doing the bare minimum on keeping things tidy. I was quick cleaning the bathroom, trying to stay on top of laundry, and making meals instead of buying them. All while not feeling guilty about it. Past me would have had such internalized guilt for not being able to do it all. Nope. Not anymore. The cluttered countertops? Nope. The insane amount of dust? Not feeling guilty about that. What about the carpet and floors? Umm…no. No guilt there either. I got to those about once a month. And don’t even ask me about the windows and mirrors. I’m thankful for the personal work I did prior to all of this so that in those moments I wasn’t piling on top of myself.
Finances have been wonky. We’re lucky to have minimal debts so that when the altered paychecks needed to stretch we could make that happen. My husband and I also live with my dad. We moved in just before my mom left this world. He has been so kind in helping us navigate through this time. We love living together. The company is good for all of us. Particularly through the loss of my mom and the lockdown of 2020. I have no guilt there either. I know some people would want me to feel that but those are their opinions and that’s not my business.
This week is a deep clean and quick declutter on as many spaces as I can get to. It will most likely spread into the next week as well. After that I will be going room by room and doing a very deep decluttering by dividing things into the garbage, donations, and what I’ll keep. My goal is to get 50% gone. In another 6 months I will do it again and hopefully get 75% gone. Letting go of things doesn’t give me the anxiety it used to. Now I feel freedom. I see what letting go of things can do for the future I envision. But it is a lot of work.
The goals are the same just the deadline has been changed. I’m still working on reading and writing. I’m actually feeling called to work on poetry. I’m looking into a class for that. I’ve been consolidating online spaces into a more defined and manageable hub. Its been really clicking for me. I can see a clear timeline of how I want things to grow. My honey has been doing art during his healing which is beautiful to see. I’m working on next steps to get his comissions filled up. As far as other art, we were able to go and see Come From Away (professional theatre) recently and Mean Girls (high school performance). They were both great ways to spend our time. Both shows were excellent and I’m glad to have experienced them. Personally, I am getting ready to audition for a show in about a month. I’m very excited to get the chance to audition and possibly be in another show! I love performing. I love the comraderie.
Anyhoo, I guess I’d better get to that deep cleaning…first up is the bathroom. Wish me luck!
Take care,
